In Loving Memory of Fran DeSimone
December 21, 1945 - January 24, 2005
Mike's Eulogy
Thank you all – for coming to commemorate my mom’s life.
I know this is a hard time for all of us here; we associate death with the unknown. We may feel sad, we may feel pain, or we may feel anger – but with all of that, there is comfort to know this is not the end, but a new beginning.
My mom’s life was an eventful one. From her schooldays to finding a career, from learning love to sharing that love as a wife and mother. All of us have similar experiences as we go through life; and with them, many rewards and challenges. My mom faced all of her challenges head-on, and I think she was exceptional at it.
I learned love through my mom. She taught me what it means to be loved and how to return love. She didn’t necessarily approve of all the girls I dated; she said some of my decisions gave her more than a few gray hairs. I could tell deep inside that she was repeating to herself—and I quote from Seinfeld—“serenity now, serenity now”. But she had the right idea; she knew I should wait for someone special. Even though I may have been happy at the time I was dating these girls, I wasn’t in love—I didn’t have the internal feelings of love that my mom taught me. She said, “You know when you’re in love when you feel loved by the other person, and you return the love”. Those words have always stayed with me, and I hoped that my mom was right. And you know what, she turned out to be exactly right. I found those feelings she was talking about when I met Shay.
Then there was her role as a parent. Many people commented that she did a good job of raising me, and she was happy to take full credit for that. When it came to my shortcomings, she’d just say I got those from dad. But dad, you know that she was just kidding—joking around was just her way to express her feelings with you. In the end, both mom and dad did a great job as parents. I’ve always tried to live up to their expectations of me…go to school, stay out of trouble, go to college, establish a career, get married, and enjoy life’s experiences. Mom and I had a special lunch together before I got married, because she wanted to tell me something. She said, “Son, I am the happiest and proudest mom on this planet. Your successes in life are confirmations that I have succeeded as a mom – I love you.”
Dad, I didn’t forget you. Dad, I want you to know that mom loved you very much. When you were in the hospital or working nights at the bar, she missed you dearly. The 35 years you spent together is a great testament to your love for each other.
These last few weeks of my mom’s life journey were very hard for me. It broke my heart to see what she was going through. However, she kept her sense of humor. One day, I was sitting with mom while dad did some errands. When she woke up and asked where dad was, I told her he went to the store. She then said with a smile, “Oh, good—I hope he brings me back a pack of Marlboros.” Even though she hadn’t smoked in years, she joked that she had nothing to lose now.
Although she sensed death approaching, my mom was less and less afraid. It seemed that she began looking at death as another journey—it may be the end of the physical world, but not the end of the spiritual world. She knew that her journey in Heaven would be full of happiness and love, not empty. She was looking forward to seeing her parents and brothers again.
I believe that God put us on this Earth to test us; to determine if we are good individuals. God saw how wonderful my mom was and how she indeed passed this test with flying colors. My mom touched so many lives—the presence of all of you here is proof of this. Now God has rewarded her by sending her to Heaven. This is not the end. My mom is now experiencing life in another dimension—I believe she is looking down at us all and telling us, “I’m ok; I’m having a wonderful time.”
Mom, I love you. Have a great time. I will see you again. Until then, you will always remain in my heart and thoughts.
Reprinted from Mom's funeral cards:
We thought of you today,
And that was nothing new...
We thought of you yesterday,
And we will tomorrow, too.
We think of you in silence
And make no outward show;
For what it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.
Your golden heart stopped beating,
Your tender heart's at rest;
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.
It's lonely here without you,
We miss you more each day;
Life is not the same for us
Since you were called away.
Each time we see your picture,
You seem to smile and say,
"Don't cry, I'm only sleeping...
We'll be together again someday."
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