Which leads me to the first truly interesting event in this little river story of mine.

The River Victim
Besides beer, we do mix a little Yukon Jack and Rose's Lime juice to make a concoction known as Snake Bite.  On one trip, Lane got bitten bad.  He flopped out of the canoe during a pee break, brought up his breakfast, then sort of passed out on the limestone river's edge.  He continually told us to "go on without him".  This whole event was funnier than hell to the rest of us.  We laid him out on the canoe as best we could and were very careful until he came back to Earth.

I am sorry to Lane for publishing these pictures, but I had no choice.  They were way too funny.

[Edit: I have received one email from someone who did not appreciate my Suwannee story. To that anonymous person, "Heh?". Here is their email.] 

General Life on the Suwannee
We spend most of our canoeing time laughing, drinking beer, and eating pistachios, beef jerky, and Pringles.  

We do paddle a little, too.  The 40 miles of the Suwannee we see are almost completely virgin, with woods and limestone bluffs on both sides.  Often, large tree branches hang over the water.  We like to "shoot" under the branches in our canoes; this maneuver we call a "shooter".  The lower the shooter, the greater the admiration from the other canoes.  Sometimes the shooter is so low that the canoeist must climb over the branch while the canoe is still moving.  This is a shooter of the greatest difficulty, and should not be attempted by any but the most stupid, inebriated river man.  Rich excels at this particular feat.

Sometimes, combined with a shooter, we will also do a "paddle toss".  The paddle is tossed over the hanging branch while the canoe moves under it.  This results in 1) a successful catch, 2) a spilled beer, or 3) a paddle floating down the river.  In the latter case, the rear paddler is responsible for getting the canoe and the paddle back together.  Often, both paddlers will attempt a paddle toss.  If both paddlers lose their paddles, the other canoe must come to their rescue!

Springs
The nicest feature of the Suwannee River is its freshwater springs.  These springs are absolutely crystal clear.  Some of them are very large (100' wide, 75' deep).  They are full of fish, which you can see clearly from almost any distance due to the clear water.  We bathe in them in the mornings.  One of them has the remains of a Civil War supply ship on the bottom of it (the captain scuttled it when it became evident that it was not going to escape the Northern ship that was chasing it).

From the river, we see the springs as a river of clear water rushing into the relatively dark water of the Suwannee.  The Suwannee River originates from the Okefenokee Swamp, in Georgia, and is rich with decomposing vegetative material, such as Cypress trees.  

Because this part of the river is largely unpopulated, most of the springs appear totally untouched by humans.  In fact, during our three days going down the river, we will usually pass only one or two boats.  Only once did we see another canoeist. Widely separated, we do see some houses.  They look like hunting lodges or cabins, though.  Most of them are not occupied when we pass.  We keep a lookout for Mongloids with banjos.

Suwannee Adventures ==> Part III